


Five Times Sex was Less Than Perfect Between Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter

by WrathoftheStag (Mwuahna)



Series: Perfect Imperfections [1]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Crack, Crack is whack, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb, murder husbands sexy not sexy time, real life sex problems folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 23:07:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8032579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mwuahna/pseuds/WrathoftheStag
Summary: It’s not always moonlight and Valentino.





	Five Times Sex was Less Than Perfect Between Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter

**Author's Note:**

> “Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” ― Mae West

**1.**

“But I’m so very congested, _mylimasis_. My allergies are terrible at the moment.”

“Please?” Will whined as he nosed Hannibal’s neck, peppering it with kisses.

“Very well, my demanding boy,” Hannibal said, then sneezed once as he dropped to his knees. The smile on Will’s face grew, as Hannibal unzipped Will’s pants – Will impatiently lifted his hips.

The instant Hannibal swallowed him down, Will threw his head back and moaned…and then, Will’s sounds of pleasure were drowned out by Hannibal’s labored breathing.

Loud huffs of air came out of the sides of Hannibal’s mouth as he sloppily licked and sucked Will down, drool running along the sides. Will ceased the movement of his hips, and opened one eye to look at Hannibal.

Poor Hannibal. 

Whenever Hannibal would close his mouth, a loud whistling was heard coming from his nose. Will frowned and caught Hannibal’s eye, who then motioned that he was okay.

“I’m fine. Let’s keep going,” Hannibal said, nose whistling again.

“Uh, maybe later,” Will replied and bent down to kiss Hannibal on the head.

 

**2.**

They had been going at it for almost an hour. And while Hannibal was a firm believer of “the longer, the better” he was getting tired. Still, not one to back down from a challenge, he forged ahead.

“You like that,” Hannibal whispered.

“Yep!” Will replied.

_Five minutes later…_

“You like that?” Hannibal asked.

“Yes, indeed!” Will replied once more.

_Five more minutes later…_

“Will,” Hannibal said as he collapsed on top of his beloved, "I am exhausted! I give up. What is the matter?”

Will turned a bright shade of red, exhaled and then said, “I’ve just really had to pee for the last half hour.” He got up and ran to the bathroom.

“I can’t pee with a hard on. Help?”

“No, thank you,” was the only response heard from the bedroom.

 

**3.**

“Will?”

“Hmmm?” he responded as his tongue expertly darted in and out of Hannibal’s muskiness, causing Hannibal to gasp.

“I can’t. Look at –” Hannibal’s sentence interrupted midway, thanks to Will’s deft moves.

“Shhh,” Will murmured. “It’s fine, it’s fine…” he cooed, planting a wet kiss in between Hannibal’s cheeks.

Hannibal arched his back, and then made the mistake of looking off to the side once more. Now both dogs _AND_ the cat were in the room. Standing there. Watching. Not blinking.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. Not with this attentive audience!” Hannibal rose from the bed, and marched off to the bathroom, erection bouncing up and down. 

Will sighed and looked at the furry saboteurs.

“Thanks a lot, you pervs.”

 

**4.**

“I want you to come on my chest,” Hannibal groaned, tightly gripping the sheets, as Will lustily thrust deep inside Hannibal.

Will bent down, mouth plundering Hannibal’s; greedy tongues reached out for more. And as he began to come, Will pulled out, aiming for Hannibal’s chest.

What he got instead was Hannibal’s eye.

“Jesus!” Will yelped, eyes wide in disbelief, as Hannibal lay there, muttering something in Lithuanian – reaching out with both hands – left eye shut tightly, covered in come.

Will couldn’t help but cackle in between pleas for forgiveness.

Hannibal was not amused.

 

**5.**

Hannibal rolled them both over, greedily grinding down into Will.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” Will panted as he pulled at Hannibal’s shirt. "Take this off.“

"And you take these off,” Hannibal said as he yanked at Will’s zipper, then stood to remove his own shirt and trousers.

Making quick work of his jeans and underwear, Will launched himself onto the bed – knees bent, enormous grin on his face.

Hannibal sat on his haunches, and placed a kiss on Will’s inner thigh. He slowly lowered his gaze…and then stilled.

“Mongoose?”

“Yes?” Will asked seductively.

“There…ah...appears to be a piece of toilet paper…stuck. There,” Hannibal said, gingerly pointing.

Was it possible to die of mortification? Will Graham was about to find out.


End file.
